Before Marriage Questions

150+ important questions to discuss before getting engaged or married, covering values, finances, family goals, and expectations for your future.

50 questions · Free to use

Your Question

How do you envision our life together in 5 years?

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1 - 25

1 How do you envision our life together in 5 years?

2 What does marriage mean to you?

3 How do you want to handle finances as a married couple?

4 What are your expectations for how we'll divide household responsibilities?

5 Do you want children? If so, how many and when?

6 What parenting values are most important to you?

7 How do you feel about where we'll live?

8 What role will extended family play in our married life?

9 How do you want to handle holidays and family gatherings?

10 What are your career goals and how do they fit with our life together?

11 What's your approach to saving and spending money?

12 How do you feel about debt, and what's our plan for managing it?

13 What are your deal-breakers in a marriage?

14 How do you want to handle disagreements and conflicts?

15 What's your communication style when you're upset?

16 How important is alone time to you?

17 What role does faith or spirituality play in your life?

18 How do you feel about maintaining friendships outside our marriage?

19 What are your expectations around physical intimacy?

20 How do you want to keep our relationship strong over time?

21 What's your biggest fear about marriage?

22 What lessons from your parents' relationship do you want to bring into ours?

23 What lessons do you want to avoid?

24 How do you define loyalty in a marriage?

25 What would you do if one of us needed to relocate for work?

26 - 50

26 How do you feel about prenuptial agreements?

27 What are your thoughts on joint vs. separate bank accounts?

28 How will we make major decisions together?

29 What does a healthy work-life balance look like to you?

30 How do you want to handle it if we disagree about something major?

31 What traditions do you want to create as a married couple?

32 How important is date night after marriage?

33 What's your ideal living situation?

34 How do you feel about pets?

35 What are your thoughts on supporting each other's hobbies?

36 How will we handle it if one of us makes significantly more money?

37 What does 'being there' for each other mean to you?

38 How do you want to handle stress together?

39 What's your approach to health and wellness as a couple?

40 How do you feel about sharing passwords and privacy?

41 What boundaries do you want to set with family and friends?

42 How do you want to celebrate milestones and anniversaries?

43 What does emotional support look like to you?

44 How do you feel about therapy or counseling if we need it?

45 What's your vision for retirement?

46 How do you want to handle unexpected life changes?

47 What's your love language, and how can I show love in that way?

48 What makes you feel secure in our relationship?

49 What are you most excited about for our marriage?

50 What's one promise you want us to make to each other?

How to use these questions

Pick one question and have each person answer it separately first. Then share your answers and discuss. This prevents one person from anchoring the other's response and leads to more honest, interesting conversations.

Pick a question that sparks your curiosity or feels relevant to your mood tonight.

Both of you answer separately first, no peeking at each other's response.

Share your answers, compare notes, and enjoy the conversation that follows.

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